The Life of RC Cola

Well, it’s been a fairly long time since I’ve written. I’ve had a lot of recent developments in life. I’ve decided on where to go to school (Troy University). I’ve reaffirmed my conviction that I’ll be a lawyer one day. I’ve made some friendships stronger, and let some of them fall by the wayside. But I have one huge development that I haven’t told many people.

I have a girlfriend. And it’s something that I’m extremely happy about. She’s amazing. Every single day. She’s so nice, sweet, funny, smart, and absolutely beautiful. The only downside is the fact that we live over 600 miles away. But we both try to forget that as much as possible. She’s the best, and I’m honored to call her mine.

Now the purpose of my post isn’t to gush about how wonderful my girlfriend is (she is). It’s to show you a series of events and how they all tie together.

We met in September. Then I saw her again in November. We’ve been talking since March and dating for almost a week.

The event we met at in September was one that I almost didn’t go to. My senior homecoming was that weekend, and it was something that I didn’t want to miss at all. But I did. And I’m so happy for it.

In everyone’s life, there are a series of moments that define us. Ourselves. Our career path. Our friendships. Our relationships. Everything. It has once been said that (or something along these lines), “The shame in the most important moments in our lives is that we often don’t even realize they are happening”. I didn’t know that meeting her in September would lead to me dating her in May. Nor did I know that a field trip to the state capital in the 7th grade would make me want to pursue a career in law. I didn’t know that taking an early interest in history and politics would make me want to get an undergraduate degree in both of these subjects. These things just happened for me. Thankfully, I’m able to look back on these moments and say, “See there? That’s where it all changed.”

Now one may think that I’m being very arrogant/cocky or think that I’ve gotten my life figured out. Do I? No. I don’t at all. I’m sure that my path will change many a time before I truly get headed in the right direction, and I accept that. Everyone thinks of me as the kid who’s got everything figured out, and in all honesty, I don’t.

I think that the best thing everyone can do is to stop chasing things so dang much. I (and most of you who read this) are between 16 and 20 years old. We’re undecided with mostly everything in our life. We don’t know what we want. We’re scared that society won’t accept us for who we are. And you know what? That’s completely normal. We worry too much about the fact that our lives are not defined. Many things are up in the air and won’t come down for quite some time. It’s learning to juggle all these things at once and dropping those matters which matter the least and keeping the rest of them in balance. No one expects us to have everything figured out. I know I don’t.

So this is the point of everything, I guess. Most things don’t happen twice. Heck, nothing happens in the exact same way more than once. It’s time to stop letting things go by and grasping opportunities as they come. It’s time to take advantage of even the smallest window opportunity and making it work. Everyone has opportunities. It’s just that some people make these into something worthwhile, and the others don’t. Simple as that. Why do people that have money, have money? Why are the people in power, in power? Why do the people who love their job, love their job? Because they took action. They grasped ahold of their future and didn’t let go. If you want something, go get it. Because some things just don’t happen twice.

“There are things that catch your eye, then there are things that catch your heart…pursue the latter.”

Make your window as large as possible. Take small and make it big. Do what you want to do. It’s okay to be scared. It’s only normal. Just don’t “almost” do something and look back 20 years from now and regret it. I did what I wanted to do. I made something happen. You should too. - Ryan

Don’t Happen Twice - Kenny Chesney

We Rode in Trucks - Luke Bryan

Somebody Like You - Keith Urban

Into the Mystic - Van Morrison

Stay or Leave (Live) - Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds

Colder Weather - Zac Brown Band

(Clever title, I know. But it’s actually from a song by Wilco. Haven’t heard it. Just a catchy title).

Prom is truly a wonderful experience. So many pictures, good food, good music, and fun. It’s filled with so many great things and it truly is an unforgettable experience. No, my post isn’t about prom at all. It’s about something that I realized somewhere in the middle of a Lil Jon song on the dancefloor.

I’ve begun to hate the word almost. It’s become a part of my daily vernacular. This time last year, I almost (see what I did there?) never used it. I didn’t really have a reason to. I did what I wanted. I never really did unusual things though. I never really thought about taking a risk and stepping outside my comfort zone. I was happy with what I was doing and what I had done. I didn’t see a need to change it. But now, I do.

I bring the whole prom thing up to you for this reason. You ever see someone you want to talk to very badly but never do? Yes, I know you do. Everyone does. Honestly, on a daily basis. You keep giving yourself excuses. “Maybe I’ll wait for a few minutes.” “I’ll finish what I’m doing, then I’ll go over there and talk to them.” “I’m too busy”. At prom, I’ve felt the same way. As in - Hey, I’d really like to dance with you. But…”Just one more song.” “They’re already dancing with someone else.” “They’d say no.” All of these thoughts have gone through my mind (and everyone else’s) at some point. That’s why I’m here to talk to you about The Art of Almost.

Everyone has done a lot of things that they’re proud of. And vice versa. Everyone has done things that they regret and wish they could take back.

Side note, sorry: Stop regretting things. Those things…they define you. They’re building blocks. They help you to see what you did wrong and how you can improve your decisions next time. Life doesn’t come with an eraser. So the best thing to do is go on to the next line and continue on with your story.

Back to the lecture at hand…yes, everyone has done things that they’re proud of and things that they aren’t so proud of. But you know what the great thing is? Everyone is this way. Show me a man who is truly happy with every decision he is made and I’ll show you a liar. I think that our choices help to define us, to a point. But our “almosts” define us more than anything.

I almost asked a girl to dance with me the other night. Why didn’t I? The fear of rejection, mostly. I think that’s why most people don’t do things, because they don’t turn out like one would plan. That’s okay. Nothing ever goes according to plan.

But what if did ask her to dance and she said yes? Awesome. Good for me. I acted positively on my almost. I acted, most importantly. I didn’t sit around and wait on something to happen. I didn’t wait until the next song. I made things happen. But…I didn’t ask her to dance. Oh well. Obviously, I wasn’t supposed to. But I almost did.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sick of “almost”. Almost being #2 in the class. Almost getting accepted to top tier colleges. Almost being a Coca-Cola Scholarship Finalist. Almost worked things out with people who I thought I’d never talk to again. Almost asked plenty of girls to dance with me. You get the point. Now I don’t say all this for sympathy. I say it to help you realize something. You’ve almost done a lot of things and so have I. We’re happy that some things did indeed happen, but we’re upset with ourselves for letting the good things be in our reach to where we can almost have them, but we let them go. It’s important to stop letting them get away. We don’t want to ever have anyone ask us if we did something and say, “Well…I almost did it.” That’s so disappointing. To everyone. Almost is merely another word. It’s a word that means failure to act when the time is best. You can’t control timing, but you can control what you do with your time. Don’t almost do anything. Do it with your whole heart.

I’ve been catching up on Harry Potter movies lately. Dumbledore had a wonderful quote in one of them that I’m finally beginning to understand. “It is not our abilities, but our choices, that define us.” Harry didn’t almost do anything. He did it. And he didn’t look back. Everything happened to him for a reason. In life, we have things added, subtracted, divided, and multiplied. We ask the teacher why this is happening to us. But the teacher will not answer, for the student will one day understand the sum of all matters. Life isn’t meant to be understood. It’s meant to be lived.

So the next time you want to ask someone to dance, do it. Don’t almost do it. If you get turned down, so what? You took a chance. You didn’t drive home later that night and think about what might have been, what could have happened, or what you almost did. You could have a wonderful dance, conversation, or a lot of fun. Who knows?

“Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”

Let almost become a word that you almost don’t say anymore. Oh, and save a dance for someone who you normally wouldn’t. You never know what might happen.

Ryan

One by One (Live) - Wilco

My Way Back Home - Dawes

The Horizon Has Been Defeated - Jack Johnson

Ventura Highway - America

Cats and Dogs - THATH

So Damn Lucky - Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

Either Way - Wilco

For some reason, I’m a pro at letting people leave my life. Too often, I don’t want them to leave, but I feel like I have to.

I’ve never been about half-doing anything. I’ve always been all or nothing. School. Work. Friendships. Relationships. Anything that I do, I put my whole heart in it. Most people don’t. But I’m not most people.

This personality trait has gotten me into a lot of trouble. I’ve lost a lot of worthwhile people that I truly enjoyed being friends with. But if you’re not willing to put in the effort to stay friends with me, then why should I?

Call me stubborn. I know I am. But think about something for a second. What sense does it make in life to just be okay with everything? To just be mediocre and be okay with that? No. It doesn’t make any sense. The reason why I’m like this is to strive to have the best and most meaningful relationships that I can. I’m not about having tons of acquaintances. I’m about having a group of people that I can trust.

Anyways, that wasn’t my point in writing this. Today hasn’t been a great day. I lost someone that I had been very good friends with for a month. I miss her already. I guess it was because of my unwillingness to accept things as they were, but also her unwillingness to give me a chance. But I don’t like the blame game. No one ever wins.

I just recently finished a conversation with a girl that was essentially my first meaningful “relationship”. Yes, I said it. I went there. She told me, “Think about where we’d be if you never did it”. She’s talking about ending it, our relationship/friendship thingy. But she’s right. You have to end things. Because endings make for new beginnings. There is no other way to go out and start new things and meet new people unless you end the things that once were. It’s impossible. But at least she gave me a chance to try to make things right. Multiple chances, actually. And I’ve failed at them, of course. I’m trying to make things right. We’ll see how that goes.

I guess what I’m trying to say is stop being so dang sorry for doing what you want to do. I get into way too much trouble by trying to please everyone all of the time. This can’t work. I can’t sit here and say that it doesn’t upset me when things don’t go my way, because it does. It infuriates me. I hate to see people walking away because I can’t give them what they want. I think too often that I believe the fault lies with me. I may be right, but I could be wrong. If someone doesn’t accept you for you, then so be it. It’s their loss. The people that have always and will always be there for you at the end of the day are the ones who care for and love you, no matter what decisions you make and who you choose to interact with. But more than anything, the ones that are happy for you, regardless of the circumstance. Life’s like a garden. You will always have flowers that catch your eye. Flowers that you want to replant every year. The constant and most important ones. Then there are the “impostor” plants. The ones that look as if they are beautiful and blooming, but are in fact weeds. We may pull them up at the beginning of their lives, or we may wait for them to tower over the rest of the plants to remove them. Either way, we’re doing ourselves and the other members of the garden harm, for we give these impostors too much of our time, money, and efforts when they are futile. Instead, we should use these on the flowers that matter most, the people whom we truly love and adore the most.

“I don’t know what the secret to success is. But I know what it isn’t: trying to please everyone.”

Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. And if you’re one of the people that I speak of…I’m sorry. Have a good week. - Ryan

Down in the Valley - THATH

Sounds Like Hallelujah - “

Chasing a Ghost (Best song by The Head and the Heart. Well, as of now.) - “

Heaven Go Easy on Me - “

Do you ever wonder where people are going? Driving on the roads, walking down the street, or just in our own respective lives? This thought struck my mind when I was driving home last night.

Most of the time, I don’t know where anyone else is going. Heck, I don’t even know where I’m going half the time. I have a destination, as we all do. But it’s temporary for now. Home, school, work, basketball games, friends’ houses, shops, restaurants. All of these are places that most people frequent. We spend so much time worrying about where we’re going, who we’re with, what we’re wearing, what time we’re getting there, and so on. But why?

In the span since I’ve posted (almost 2 months), I’ve been super busy, which is the main reason I haven’t written at all. I finally finished applying for colleges, thankfully. I’m still applying for scholarships. Still have school to worry about, though. I have the first part of February to relax (kind of) but then it all picks back up. I’m super ready for that to happen.

I’ve also changed around a few things in my life. I’m drifting further and further apart from people who I swore never would. I’ve reestablished friendships that I thought were beyond repair. I’m becoming better friends with people who I thought I never would. And as always, I’m meeting new people.

But mainly during the span of these 2 months, I’ve been questioning things. I’ve been questioning whether or not I made the right decisions. I’ve questioned if I made the right decision, said the right thing or made the right choice. Too often we worry about being right. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes; it’s the only way to learn to be right. I’ve constantly been wondering what might have been if I had done things differently. I think everyone does this from time to time, but my thoughts have wandered to this far too often for my own good.

So this is what I’m trying to say. Be okay with what you did or said. It was meant to happen. Everything in life happens for a reason, whether it be good or bad. You learn from everything, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. Be okay with the person who you once were and are today. It’s the only way to be truly happy.

The next time you’re driving, don’t focus so much on the destination. Yes, you will always get where you’re supposed to be going, no matter what. But enjoy the way there. Enjoy the journey, for it makes the destination so much sweeter.

And as for making the right decision. You’re going to be wrong sometimes. Face it. Things aren’t always going to go your way. Don’t regret the things you did and didn’t do. They were for a reason that you don’t know right now and may never know. But you did it. So be okay with it. For the things you didn’t do, don’t worry. You’ll do plenty of things to make up for them. Don’t worry about the things that won’t matter in a year, or even a day. Worry about the meaningful things in your life that you can control.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” - Douglas Adams

Enjoy the journey. Be happy and confident with each and every step that you take. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Live an enjoyable life. But more than anything…do what YOU want to do.

Until next time. - Ryan

Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event

The Show Goes On - Lupe Fiasco

Mr. Jones (Across a Wire) - Counting Crows

Time Won’t Let Me Go - The Bravery

The Getaway - Athlete

Rivers and Roads (iTunes Session) - The Head and the Heart

Million Dollar Bill - Dawes

(via quote-book)

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I wrote this last night/this morning. When things are on my mind, I write. This is my way of coping with things.

In the past 3 weeks since I’ve written, bad things have continued to happen to our region. Two teenagers from a high school about 30 minutes away died in a car crash. A school in south Alabama that 3 of my friends go to recently suffered the death of a student in a car wreck. And this morning, a 16 year old lost his life in a car accident.

Now, I did not know him personally, but I was Facebook friends with him and I followed him on Twitter. It was safe to say that he was the funniest kid on my news feed and time line, hands down. He always talked about getting recruited to go run Division 1 track. He was only 16. It amazed me how this guy could be so funny and confident. He really seemed like a cool guy. Everyone I ever met had said he was a great guy and an amazing athlete with a lot of promise. Today, however, that is all gone.

When the prayer requests started going around on Facebook and Twitter, I was heartbroken. I couldn’t believe it. Yesterday, he was posting funny statuses and tweets. But today…he was gone.

Just 3 weeks ago, a young man from another county school lost his life. I wrote something about him, even though I’d never met him. I talked about living life to the fullest, about being a good friend, about not taking things for granted. Here we are, 3 weeks later. And the same thing happened.

There is a reason for each and every thing that happens in each and every one of our lives. Why? We don’t know. We’re not supposed to know. At least, not now. Everyone leads a different life, goes down a different path, associates with different people. But we all share one goal: to lead a rich and fulfilling life.

So stop and think for a second. We wake up tomorrow. We find out that our best friend passed away. We cry. We mourn. And then we get to thinking. What about their life? What about their unfinished dreams? They’ll never get to feel what it’s like to have that tassel turn at graduation. They’ll never get to feel what it’s like to go to the college of their dreams. They’ll never get to find that one person that they fall in love with the second they meet them. They’ll never get to have their dream job. They’ll never get to hold their kids the moment they’re born. They’ll never get to see the world. They’ll never get to spoil their grandkids. They’ll never get to grow old. They’ll never get to live out their dreams. They’ll never get to pass away with all of their loved ones at their side. Why? Because they’re gone.

I would imagine that some people experienced that exact same thing this morning. I would imagine that some people had talked to him the night before, kidded around with him, made some jokes, made plans for the next day, and told him goodbye. But how many of those people would’ve thought that last night would be the last time they ever spoke to him? I would think none. No one ever wants to think that.

So this is what I’m trying to say. You never know what could happen tomorrow to the person you’re talking to today. Choose your words wisely. Don’t make fun of anyone, kidding or not. Don’t exclude people. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t have regrets. Don’t build barriers. Don’t hold back what you have to say. Don’t leave things unsaid. Don’t put things off. Do tell someone you love them. Do give someone a hug. Do be a friend. Do forgive people. Be yourself. Have fun. Hope. Have faith. Live your life the way you want to.

So the next time you go to bed, do a few things. Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you did your best. Look at your phone and take the time out of your day to see how your friends are doing. Apologize if you were in the wrong earlier that day. Give your family members a hug and tell them you love them before you go to sleep. But most importantly, thank God for all the wonderful things that He has blessed you with. The ability to live life is the best gift that anyone could ever be given. So don’t squander it.

Just remember this. The next time you talk about how bad your life sucks, how much you hate your parents, how your curfew isn’t late enough, how your car isn’t nice enough, how hard school is, or how bad you hate being single, don’t forget the fact that your life isn’t perfect, it will never be; remember that to live life is the greatest possible thing we could ever do. We have so much potential to do great things. Instead, we sit around and complain and wait on things to happen. But let me tell you something. Time doesn’t stop. For anyone. So let’s make the most of our time. Set out to make the next 24 hours your masterpiece. If you do this every single day, great things will come. Of course, life isn’t grand all the time. Accept bad times with the good times. Be strong and be faithful that things are going to get better. Keep your head up and don’t forget to be thankful for what you are given. As the old adage says, “The past is gone, the future isn’t promised, today is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present.”.

So go on. Don’t second guess yourself. Live like you want to. Don’t take things for granted. Live as if each day was your last, because you never know when that day might be.

To everyone that reads this, I love each and every one of you. You have impacted me in an unimaginable way. My life wouldn’t be the same without you. So I thank you for everything that you’ve ever done. I thank you for all the memories, good and bad. I thank you for allowing me to be me. But more importantly, thank you for allowing me the chance to share this with you and be a part of your life. You don’t know how honored I am to call you my friend.  Goodnight. And one more thing…I love you.

So, I wrote something about a year ago that was about growing up. I haven’t written a second part like I planned to. But this is my stab at a second part.

Things have changed in a year. I’m not friends with people I was best friends with last year. But some of my best friends now are people that I hadn’t even met this time last year. I had never kissed a girl, nor had I fallen for one as hard as I did. I hadn’t accepted Christ into my life. I didn’t have a lot of things I do now. I didn’t have a lot of people in my life that I do now. But this past year, I’ve learned that growing up is really okay.

I just finished re-reading The Catcher in the Rye. Holden, the main character, struggles with a lot of things. Growing up is the biggest challenge that he faces. Holden can’t stand to face the fact that he’s 16 years old and must go out into the real world and do something with himself in the next few years. I think that we all struggle with this time to time, some more so than others. At this time last year, I did. I still am now. But not as much as I have recently.

Things haven’t been going so well for me this past week. But I’ve been doing okay. Things were looking up until some things happened, but we won’t get into that. I just learned to be okay with it. I have very few days left here with these people, so I need to make the most of it. I think that all of the members of my Senior class could agree. The people who are meant to be in your life will be in your life when they’re meant to be. Simple as that. The quicker we realize that, the easier our lives will be.

Now, back to this growing up thing. I have essentially 4 months to make the biggest decision of my life to this point: which college to attend. I won’t get into that. But I’m not going to rush it. You know why? Because I’m 17 years old. I’m free. I have the best friends in the world. I have the best family in the world. I couldn’t ask for a better life, even if it has its bad moments. I’m trying to savor this year, because it’s going to be gone soon, very soon. I won’t have another year like it. So why wish it away? We spend so much time wishing things away. We wish we had better friends. We wish we had more stuff. We wish our family was different. We wish for bigger houses, nicer cars, comfier beds, higher resolution tvs, and more high-tech phones. I know I do. But you know what? There’s a reason we don’t have them. Who knows why we don’t? But to everything, there is a reason. So don’t wish everything away. Appreciate what you have and be thankful for what you’ve got.

So I guess you can say I’ve grown up in the past year. I’ve learned that change is okay, even if it means losing people that you could depend on for anything. Even if it means accepting the fact that you no longer talk to people that you used to long to talk to each and every day. Even if you have to take risks and step outside of your comfort zone. It’s okay to do all of these things. Why? Because you’re growing up. No one stays the same forever. It’s okay to grow up. It’s not okay to physically grow up and mentally stay the same. No, this won’t do.

So accept change with an open mind and open heart. Be thankful for what you have. Don’t be afraid to do different things. Don’t be afraid to let go of things that don’t need to be held onto for any longer. Do pursue what you want to pursue. Don’t be what anyone else wants you to be. Be you. And more importantly, savor each and every moment, for it will never come again.

- Ryan

Hyperspace - Nada Surf

Grace Is Gone - Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

Helena Beat - Foster the People

Dusk and Summer - Dashboard Confessional